I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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