Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
