i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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