no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My ass is underappreciated
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
