I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
