In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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