I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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