is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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