remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
