i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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