It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
