I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
