just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
