Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she told me i tasted like america
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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