Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
