Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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