As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
