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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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