He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Holy shit dude........stairs
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