Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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