Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
