i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
