Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Slut skills are useful in every country.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
