Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
