i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
