I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
