So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My life is pants optional.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize