Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
