I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
