Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
