Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
it was like eating out sand paper
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Randomize
