I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
