Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I am mentally ready for anal.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
