I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
