You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
