ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
