Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
