K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
