I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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