ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
3 2 1 whiskey
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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