she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
