You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
