I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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