you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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