Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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