Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
