He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
