Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
