i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
