Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
