I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
