he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
