also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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