all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
