I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
