Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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