just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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