The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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